The inanimate nature of objects, the charge they hold, the communication they offer and the personality of objects.  Often if we hold an object in our hands that has belonged to someone else it carries their shared physical experiences, sometimes it also has another feeling; a feeling of that person, of what went before.

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contemporary grandmother clocks

I create personalities of imagined contemporary grannies. Here are some examples, and I can make your granny- real or imagined- once we have a list of personality traits. You can be as conservative and sensitive as you wish or out and out outrageous. It's your family!

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The wood used is mostly reclaimed wood from a charitable trust, Aldingbourne Country Centre; it is stripped, cleaned and brushed and then dried out to the correct moisture content for indoor furniture. As all of the wood is reclaimed, each clock will have its own slight differences as dictated by the wood- be it scaffold planks, floor boards, pallets or other wood that comes their way- it will have naturally occurring splits and bends plus some knocks and dents from previous experiences. It will retain its own characteristics of having been around the block a few times..

The basic clock construction is done by professional crafts people at Aldingbourne Country Centre using reclaimed wood. The lead time is confirmed once the order is confirmed but around 6-8 weeks is usual. Sometimes, as we have to wait until the right type of reclaimed wood comes into the workshop, it may be longer. Once your granny is constructed, she comes to me for her personality transplant and individual detailing.

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Below are some examples of our grannies with attitude;

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rebel granny

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Happy to shock so is also known as 'Get your tits out Granny.' This granny was one of the original women at Greenham Common protesting against nuclear weapons and burning her bra in protest and in support of equality for women. She's still a rebel at heart even though she seems to fit in with wider society. She wears sexy underwear because it pleases her and is happy to give a discrete finger gesture to those in authority. She is just quietly getting on with life on her own terms and keeping it legal.

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classic granny

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Also known as 'Warm Hugs Granny'. This granny is a safe place to be in a changing world; with old fashioned values and is totally dependable. She's low key and quiet, calmly carrying her age well and full of love. She holds you tight when you need a hug and will always be there if you need her; always happy to give a helping hand. She holds everything together and is worth her weight in gold.

in production;

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Disco Granny - pink, fun and with glitter paint and balls, dancing legs and high heels. A real disco diva

Punk Granny- matt and gloss black, cool, moody, eyeliner, tats and piercings, purple mohican hair cut

Naturist Granny- in the buff, pure bare stripped back wood with green accents and preserved moss

ordering your granny;

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The clocks are ordered by putting down a non returnable deposit of £100 and a list of personality traits that makes up your companionable granny clock are drawn up. She will be sharing your home for many years to come. Once we agree on how that is to be interpreted, I draw up an agreement, the balance is paid and the granny is paid for in full. Once in production one set of changes can be made if required.

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Each granny stands at 5ft 6inches tall and her proportions are calculated to be the same as the original Grandmother clocks; shorter than the Grandfather clocks- which are often too large for modern homes. Each clock is hand finished by myself and will be individual. You can chose your own colour way for both inside and outside using the paint choices offered by Little Greene paints. These are high pigment paints with extreme durability. (See the Little Greene website for details  https://www.littlegreene.com/paint or your local stockist for a chart and samples.) Once your colour choice is set, I can then buy the exact paint colour you have chosen. Your granny clock is on castors so she can easily be moved around. Inside are shelves and a secret cupboard, plus a quartz clock movement powered by batteries. If your granny is being shipped, she will be supplied with the hands of the clock unfitted for fitting by yourself - instructions will be supplied. If your granny is being picked up by private transport then we can fit the hands before transit by request. We just need to be sure the clock mechanism isn't damaged by the hands being knocked.

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They are robust pieces weighing around 25kg and have a slightly weighted base, but if you are concerned about granny falling over you would need to address that in your own home by anchoring to the wall or settling her into an undisturbed corner. We cannot be responsible for grannies having a fall.

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For more information on Aldingbourne Trust please see their website (https://www.aldingbournetrust.org/wood.html). Please note, the clocks are designed by and finished in my studio. The trust supplies the reclaimed wood and expertise using superior joinery skills. The clocks are available only through the Avis Lane Willan supply chain.

By buying this product- your own Granny-  you support the trust and the people it helps, you save wood going to waste- giving it more life, you receive an individual piece of furniture that will last and be characterful, and you support working artists.

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payment for your granny;

Price per personalised granny clock is £785 plus shipping. (We are not yet VAT registered, so VAT on shipping only)

Stages of payment £100 non returnable deposit for drawing up our list of personality traits and the design, balance of £685 in full on agreement of progressing and placing your final order.

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Please email me to begin the process of taking the £100 deposit so that we may begin breathing life into your granny at the design stage.

Once we reach a design interpretation and written agreement, the balance is payable in full, including shipping costs.  During the making of the clock one set of changes will be made free of charge, if agreed in advance.  

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Once made you will receive a set of final Granny images and we will arrange shipping. If you can collect or arrange collection in person from the studio that can be arranged.

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Dimensions: H- 1.70cm/67"    W- 40cm/16"    D- 28cm/11"     Weight 25kg

Measurements taken at the widest parts and include wheels but exclude the header; the header height and style will depend on the vibe of your particular granny.

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Corporate, holiday lets or business Grannies welcomed.

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unicorn wall plaque